Dr Toros Birthday
by Paladin Dragoon
Summary: It's Dr. Toros' birthday! The horror of it all! What are they gonna do?
1. The Cake

Disclaimer: Don't own anybody. sob Life is bad to me!!! Why...? WHY?!

a/n: This is my first humor fic. Hope it goes well with you.

Chapt. 1: The Cake

It was a fine day on planet Zi. Leena Toros was looking at the calendar when suddenly....

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The loudest, most bone-crumbling, most heart-stopping scream ever ripped through the Hover Cargo…! Jamie, who was cooking, grabbed a frying pan; Brad in the hangar grabbed a wrench; and Bit, who was raiding the fridge, grabbed a turkey leg. They all ran to help Leena.

Puffing and panting signaled Jamie's arrival. "Leena! What is it?!"

"What's goin' on?!" Brad demanded, brandishing his wrench. Bit, upon seeing that everyone was all right, simply pulled a donut out of his pocket and said, "Anybody want a bite?"

Naturally, everyone else fell over anime-style. Bit shrugged. "Great! More for me!" With that, he began munching on the donut.

"Look! LOOK...!!!!!!!!!!!" Leena grabbed him and spun him around to face the calendar as she jabbed at it with a finger. Everyone stared…

"So it's Doc's birthday. So what?" Brad stifled a bored yawn. Bit's reaction was the opposite. "Let's bake him a cake!" he suggested with a grin.

"But I don't know how to bake!" Jamie sputtered. "Cooking's one thing. Baking's another! Don't make him do it, Leena! Leena…?"

All Jamie's hopes for support were vaporized—Leena was concentrating on other matters. "He asks for the most AWFUL presents!" she declared, her voice squeaking a bit. "Last time, he invited Harry over! It was HORRIBLE!!!"

"…Do go on. Your account sounds...extremely...unique." Brad's voice was oozing sarcasm.

"You have to calm down, Leena. Doc's birthday is still two days away. We have lots of time to prepare," Jamie muttered as he studied the calendar. "Any—OOF!" He was knocked aside by Bit, who pumped a fist into the air and cried, "Yeah! Come on, guys! Let's bake a cake! It'll be fun!"

"Yeah, sure. That's what my mom told me when she tried to make me eat Brussels sprouts." Brad rolled his eyes.

"Hmmm..." Jamie rubbed his head. "I suppose we could try it out…GAH!"

Bit had knocked Jamie aside again. "Yeah! Come on, you guys! Whaddaya say, Leena? Brad?"

"Hmpf! Alright. We'll try it."

"Whoop-de-do."

----------

In the kitchen, the Blitz Team had gathered round a table and was looking through a cookbook.

"Okay. First, we should choose our cake," Jamie noted. "Suggestions?"

"I WANT THAT ONE!!!" Bit shouted, stabbing a finger at something unidentifiable. Leena took one look at the picture and recipe name, and immediately smacked him upside on the head. "Bit, you idiot! That's liver and onions!!!"

"Liver and onions is nice! It's healthy!"

Jamie sighed and tried not to roll his eyes. "Ummm...Bit, we're supposed to bake a cake."

"Hey, hey…" Brad pointed to another recipe. "How 'bout that one?"

"Not bad, Brad! Except for one thing..." Leena indicated the recipe name. Brad's eyebrows shot up questioningly. "Yeah? So, your point is...?"

"Erhm, Brad, I don't think coffee cake would be the best choice for Doc...," Jamie murmured. Brad's eyebrows shot even further up. "How come?"

(Creepy music could almost be heard playing in the background just then…)

"Remember...the last time...when we gave him some coffee...?" Leena whispered, her face somber and serious.

A flashlight flickered on. Bit held it under his chin. "Yeah...Whoooooo..."

Jamie nodded solemnly and took his hat off as he bowed his head. "Aye. May you rest in peace, Mrs. Toros."

"Sad, sad story, isn't it?" Brad said, sighing.

"Poor mom...she never knew what hit her...," Leena sniffled.

They were all silent for a minute, and then they snapped back to attention. Leena straightened up, Jamie put his hat back on, and Bit switched off the flashlight. Brad let out a low whistle. "Boy, I guess we'd better be careful about what to give Doc, huh?"

"That's right." Jamie was silent as he studied the rest of the cookbook for a few seconds. Then he pointed to another cake. "This one seems okay. What do you say, guys?"

"Hm. Sounds good to me!" Bit nodded.

"This li'l baby'll be a piece of cake!" Leena agreed. (a/n: pardon the pun.)

"As long as it isn't that messy, then fine."

With the final word in, Jamie confirmed, "Then it's settled. We'll bake this cake!"

"Yeah!"

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a/n: Ooh, non-script format. Nifty! XD


	2. The Disaster In the Kitchen

Disclaimer: a/n: I'm tired of writin' this! Can somebody do it for me? Please...?

a/n: Now you know why the doc is always sleepy!-

By the way, this takes place after the Royal Cup.

Don't be surprised if this turns out to be poorly written. The first chapter was so successful, so I decided to write this next chapter ASAP.

By the way, the cake they picked was a chocolate mousse cake...Mmmm...My favorite!-;;

Dr. Toros? Hmmm...I still haven't figured what to do with him yet.

Chapt. 2: The Disaster In the Kitchen

It was two days before Dr. Toros' b-day, and the Blitz Team decided to bake him a cake. We now continue from where we last left off...

In the kitchen, the Blitz Team members were gathering the cake ingredients while Jaime was getting the equipment ready.

"I have the chocolate chips!" Leena tossed the bag onto the table.

"Here's the sugar!" Brad followed suit.

"Here're the cherries---WOAH! Bit tripped as he was entering the kitchen. The cherry jar he was holding flew through the air…

CRASH!!!

"BIT!!!" the others shrieked angrily. However, their anger was useless. Bit didn't mind what'd just happened and was licking his fingers. "Mmmm..." He picked up a cherry that had bounced into his lap. "Anybody want this...?"

Jamie let out an exasperated sigh. "Forget the cherries. They were only optional ingredients, anyway." He went back to reading the cookbook as the others gathered the ingredients. After a while, he looked up. "I think that's it…"

"Awesome!" Bit whooped. "Let's start bakin'!"

"Ooh, how exciting. We're gonna bake a cake," Brad muttered sarcastically.

_"…I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that…" _Jamie thought to himself. To everyone else, he said, "O-kaaaaay...It says here to preheat the oven to 150 degrees Celsius."

Leena nodded and turned the oven on as directed. "Done!"

"Now, warm up the beater while I mix the ingredients."

"No problem!" Bit plugged in the beater and turned it on at low speed.

"Mix..." Jamie looked up. Something was missing. " Hey, Brad, could you get me some more butter?"

Brad tried to reach the top shelf while standing on a stool, without success. "I would if I could, but the chair's too short! I need to stand on something else!" he grumbled as he hopped down. Unfortunately, Bit was speaking at the same time as Brad while reading the section on pans in the oven manual. (He didn't know he was reading the wrong manual.) "Hey, Jaime, it says in the manual that you gotta, erhm, grease the beater first," he read, frowning. "What should I use?"

"That cookbook over there might help," Jamie said to Brad, pointing to a gigantic cookbook. "And Bit—"

"Huh?! Well, if you say so..." Bit marched over and picked up the cookbook, leaving a very flabbergasted Jamie and a very irritated Brad looking at him.

And then, as if it were the most natural thing to do in the world, Bit stuffed the cookbook into the beater bowl. Brad unfroze. "What—" He trailed off into a fit of choking before managing to gasp, "BIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?"

"But Jaime said---"

The beater stopped running just then…

"…Uh-oh..." Leena started to edge away…Suddenly, the beater roared to life and let out a grinding noise. Pieces of paper flew everywhere as the beater jerked off the counter.

"AAAAAAAAGH!!!" Jamie howled, trying to break for it.

"IT'S GONNA BLOW! RUUUUUUUUN!!!" Brad roared.

The Blitz Team ducked behind the table. There was an ominous grinding whine as the beater short-circuited…

..._FWEEEEEEEENNNN!!!!_...**BANG!**

As it is with all explosions, debris flew everywhere, showering the Blitz Team.

"EEK!" Leena screeched.

"ARGH!" Jamie groaned, his hands over his ears.

"AUGH!" Bit managed to choke out an exclamation of his own, followed by Brad's own bark of, "AH!"

And then there was silence…

The BT looked at each other, and then very carefully got out from behind the table to peer at the mess they had caused. Jamie staggered backwards a few steps. "Oh no..." he squeaked.

"**BIT!!!!!**" Leena whirled around to glower ferociously at Bit. "WHAT WAS THE BIG IDEA TRYIN' TO KILL US LIKE THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

"But-but..." Bit stumbled back, pointing to Jamie. "Jamie said---"

"**JAMIE!!!!!!" **

"But..." Jamie swallowed hard as he started to edge away. "But I...but..."

"**Grrrrrrr****..."**

Jamie took one look at Leena, all ready to rip him apart with her teeth and bare hands, and decided a tactical retreat would be well in order. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!"

Jamie screamed as he ran off with Leena still hot on his trail, both of them leaving Bit and Brad to stare after them, the former out of awe, the latter out of bored disdain.

"Boy, I didn't know Jaime could run so fast!" Bit said, grinning. Brad simply nodded. "M-hm. Wanna work on our zoids?"

"Sure!"

And so ends another day with the Blitz Team, who are still without a present for Dr. Toros. To Be Continued...

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a/n: Sorry if it was so short...

The next chapter will be based on this dream I had, so don't be surprised if it turns out to be...um...interesting.

This is where the Champ and Fluegel Teams come in, along with some of the other characters...


	3. Mary's Idea

Disclaimer: DON'T OWN ANYBODY, Y'HEAR?

a/n: Like I said last time, this takes place after the Royal Cup, so plenty of people are coming over.

Dr. Toros was asleep during chapters 1 & 2. Go figure. XD

* * *

Chapt. 3: Mary's Idea

It was the day before Dr. Toros' birthday, and the Blitz Team was getting desperate. Their last (and first) attempt at getting the doc a present had failed, and, well, this was what was happening...

In the Hover Cargo, Leena was pacing the floor like there was no tomorrow. "Oh no...Daddy's birthday is tomorrow and we still haven't got a present!" she moaned. "What are we gonna do...!"

"Mm-mmph-fm (I don't know.)," muttered Jamie, who had a broken jaw, a slight concussion, a sprained ankle, and was practically mummified due to Leena's "judgment". Leena turned on him with a snarl. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"MMMM! MMM! (NOOO! NOO!)" Jamie cowered under his bedsheets. Bit sighed and placed a hand on Leena's shoulder. "Hey, lay off him, Leena! It wasn't his fault!"

"Not his fault! Why…That little…Grrrrrrr…!" With one last glower at Bit and Jamie, Leena went back to pacing. Jamie peeked out and grinned lopsidedly at Bit. "Mph-fm-fm! (Thank you, Bit!)"

"Yeah, sure; no problem!" Bit grinned back.

" If you really wanted to get Doc a present, you would be finding one right now instead of worrying about it," Brad informed Leena dryly. Bit nodded. "He's right, Leena."

"Mf-phm. (Uh-huh.)"

"I know, but I'm all out of ideas!" Leena complained. Brad rolled his eyes and muttered, "You had no ideas.The first idea belonged to Bit."

Leena didn't hear a thing he said. "I'll need your help on this one, guys." She snapped her fingers. "What are the things you've given to your parents on their birthdays? Brad? What d'you give your parents? And the rest of you guys…?"

"A new coffeepot."

"Part of my profit as a junk dealer," Bit said proudly.

"Fm-fms-phuh-fm-mm-m-phm-mfs. (Photos of me and my Raynos.)" Jamie mumbled. This earned a smirk from Brad, who remarked, "Typical Jaime."

"Fm-mm-m-mf-fmf-m-fm-fm! (Hey, it was the best I could do!)"

"You guys are hopeless!" Leena complained, throwing up her arms in exasperation. "We might as well give—"

There was a bang: Someone had opened the Hover Cargo's door. The Team exchanged looks. "Are we expecting anyone?" Bit wondered aloud.

"Yoo-hoo! Oh, Leena..." A familiar voice wafted into the room.

A _very _familiar voice.

Leena went pale and ducked behind Jamie's bed. "NO! It's Harry! Somebody hide me!" she squealed, her voice cracking.

Harry entered the room, followed by Mary, Benjamin, and Sebastian. "Hey, has anybody seen Leena?"

Brad shrugged and jerked his thumb in Leena's general direction. "Over there, ya can't miss it."

"Thanks!" Harry pranced past Jaime's bed and exited through the other door. "Oh, Leena! Harry's here! Come on, don't be afraid!"

"Oh, dear, Harry's run off again!" Benjamin groaned. Sebastian waved as he followed Harry. "We'd better go after him! We'll be back!"

That left the Blitz Team, with Bit at the mercy of Mary, in the room. A smirk curled up Brad's lip. "Yeah, he missed it."

Mary took no notice of anyone else except Bit. She made her way across the room to him, batting her eyelashes. "Oh, hi, Bit!"

"Um, erhm, hi, Mary," Bit replied, backing away with a gulp. Jamie let out a muffled chuckle. "M-mm-fmf-mf-phm-phmf! (You're in for it now, Bit!)"

"You said it!" Leena agreed as she clambered out from behind Jamie's bed. Mary's façade fell as her nose went up. "Oh, hello, Leena."

If Leena noticed Mary's condescending tone, she certainly didn't care. She swept her gaze frantically around the room, ready to bolt in an instant. "Is he gone...? Is he? IS HE!"

There was another bang of the door. Two more familiar voices rang out:

"Hey, everyone, we're back!" The first voice was male, and familiar to Leena. The second was feminine: "Brad, are you here...?"

Sure enough, Leon and Naomi entered the room. Bit ran over to greet them, glad for an excuse to escape from Mary. "Leon! Naomi! Boy, am I _glad_ to see you!"

"Hey, Bit!" Leon clasped Bit's hand in a handshake. "Where's Leena?" Naomi shoved past him and called out, "Hey, Brad!"

"Hey, Naomi!" The merc winked.

"Leon! Naomi! Great to see you!" Leena said as she came over. "Um...What are you guys doin' here?"

"Since it's dad's birthday, I decided to come over," Leon said with a smile. Bit grinned again. "Awesome! Hey, listen, can you guys help us with something?"

"Of course!" Mary elbowed Leena aside and squeezed in next to Bit, her voice all sweet and syrupy. "Anything for you, Bit!"

"Fire away!" Leon agreed as he sat down.

"I'm all ears!" Naomi exclaimed.

"Mmf-fm-mf-phm? (What about me?)"

"Right…" Bit sat down on the couch. "Well...the thing is, we haven't found a present for Doc yet...Any ideas?"

Leon's face grew thoughtful as he took this into consideration. "Hmmm...That _is_ a problem."

"Don't worry, we'll see if we can help," Naomi promised. Meanwhile, Mary was brainstorming…

"Why don't we put on a play?" she suggested. "One with spotlights, and costumes, and props, and---"

"Well, there's an idea," Brad pointed out with a shrug. Leon nodded. "One to consider, I guess."

"Think about it!" Naomi stood up. "Plays are simple and easy to perform! Plus, we have lots of great stuff for props and costumes!"

"Maybe we _could_ try it out...," Bit mumbled. There was a squeal from Mary, who clapped her hands in sheer delight. "I _knew_ you'd see it my way, Bit!" she chortled as everyone made faces and Bit gulped. Only Jamie had enough foresight to see what they would be in for.

"Fm-mm-mmf-fmf-fmf-fm-mm...(Uh-oh, here we go again...)"

Another idea! Will this one succeed? To Be Continued...

* * *

a/n: Okay, so it wasn't very funny. Some scenes in the next chapter will be based on a dream of mine. I guarantee weirdness, but I cannot guarantee hilarity. (So I'm a poet, so what? XD) That factor will be based on your opinion.

The rest of the characters will be arriving in the next chapter.


	4. The Roles are Revealed!

Disclaimer: sob No more...THIS IS TORTURE...!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-deep breath-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a/n: My most successful fic to boot! YAY! -

Several more---no, 3 characters will be arriving in this one.

Like I said last time, this chapter is based on a dream I had. Sure, it's weird, but whether it's funny or not is up to you.

This chapter isn't any longer than the last 3 ones, but all the same, enjoy! -;;

Chapt. 4: The Roles are Revealed!!!

The Blitz Team, with a little help from Mary, had finally come up with an idea for a present for Dr. Toros. Now all they had to do was pull it off...

"Okay, so it's settled." Leon folded his arms. "We'll put on a play for Dad as a birthday present. Erhm...does anyone have any idea what it should be all about...?"

Everyone else was silent. And then, out of the blue, Bit barked, "I HAVE ONE!!!"

Everyone else covered their ears, except for Mary, who thought Bit's voice was the most beautiful sound in the world. (a/n: XD) "My, how smart of you, Bit!" she exclaimed with a brainless little giggle, the kind she thought boys still found cute. Bit certainly didn't find it cute. He thought it sounded weird, coming from a girl like Mary. "Thanks...I think..."

"So what's your idea, Bit?" Leon inquired. Bit appeared hesitant. "Well…It's kinda weird…But…" And he leaned over to Leon and whispered his idea. Leon's eyes widened slightly. "Well…Oh my…"

Leena fidgeted impatiently. "What?! WHAT?! What did he say?!"

"Well..."

There was a beep from the computer. Jamie hobbled over to check it out, and almost fell backwards in alarm. "ACK! There's something large headed straight for us!" he squawked as he and the others made for the windows.

Brad peered out, squinting against the sunlight. "That...that's a Whale King..."

"If it's the Backdraft Group, then they're gonna have to deal with all of us!" Naomi declared.

"YEAH!"

"Wait a minute!" Leon held up his hands for attention. "Wasn't the Backdraft group put out of commission a few days ago?"

"Erhm..."

Mary frowned as she studied the approaching zoid. "Who is it, then?"

"My guess is that we'll soon find out..."

----------

Meanwhile, outside, Harry was still looking for Leena. "Leena, oh LEEEEE-NAAAAAA! Where AAAAAAARE YOOOOOOUUUU...?!" he yodeled.

"Harry Champ!" Benjamin was puffing as he came around the corner of the hangar. "What on earth possessed you to come out here?!"

Harry turned around to see who it was and smiled slightly upon seeing his old friend. "Oh, hi, Benjamin. Have you seen Leena anywhere?"

"No, but..."

They were interrupted by a shriek from Sebastian, who had noticed the Whale King and was pointing frantically up at it. "AAAAAAAH! A WHALE KING!"

The large zoid descended slowly, but the trio remained frozen in place. Except for their mouths, which opened to scream, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO---"

Abrupt silence reigned as the Whale King plunked down and opened its mouth, trapping them behind its lower jaw. A green-haired woman—Pierce—walked casually out of the zoid.

"Hey, did you guys hear something...?"

----------

Back in the Hover Cargo, the others were peering out of the window, trying to catch a glimpse of the Whale's pilots. Bit blinked as Pierce came down out of the zoid. "Wait a sec...That's not the Backdraft Group!"

"Well, duh! Isn't it obvious?" Leena shot back.

Someone started knocking at the door. Bit perked up. "I'll open it!" He pulled it open…

"GAH! What are YOU guys doing here?!"

Pierce pushed past Bit and smiled at him. "Hey, there, Bit!"

"Hello, Pierce." Bit smiled back, totally unaware of Mary glowering at Pierce from behind him. Just before she could initiate a catfight, Leon came forward. "Ah, so you're Pierce. Pleased to meet you." They shook hands, and Leon continued, "I'm Leon Toros, Leena's older brother."

"What are you guys doing here...?" Leena inquired, peering out from behind Leon's shoulder. Pierce shrugged. "Well, we heard about your victory in the Royal Cup and decided to come congratulate you."

"Um..._We?_"

Jamie's question was rewarded as Stoller and Sanders came in. Bit gave a start. "GAH! Stoller!"

The Elephander pilot smiled in amusement. "Hello, Bit Cloud. Are you up for a rematch?"

"Rematch?" Leena sighed. "So I guess you're not here for the party…"

"Party? What party?"

"Doc's birthday is tomorrow." Jamie echoed Leena's sigh, prompting an inquiry from Sanders: "Why the long face?"

"We don't have a present for him---" Bit was cut off as Mary lifted her chin proudly. "Oh, yes we do! Remember?"

"Oh, yeah...The play..."

Pierce smirked. "A play, hm? This should be interesting..."

"That reminds me...You guys haven't heard my idea yet," Bit recalled as he headed back for the living room. Jamie hobbled after him and sat down on the couch. "Just tell us your idea, Bit."

Bit explained his idea. By the time he was through, Jaime, Leena, and Mary were incredulous; and Leon, Naomi, Pierce, Brad, Stoller, and Sanders were silent.

"Well...?" Bit's gaze was almost pleading.

"You know, it's just crazy enough to work!" Leena commented. "You guys…?"

Leon shrugged, but he seemed to like the idea as well. "Since it's the only idea we've got, then I guess we have no choice."

"We don't have much time left, so I guess we'd better get down to business," Jamie muttered as he stood up.

Pierce, meanwhile, was thinking things over. "Since it's Toros' birthday, maybe we should...y'know, help out a bit?" She flashed Bit a secret smile and a wink.

"I was hoping for a match with Bit, but maybe it won't be so bad..." Stoller remarked with a slight smile.

"I'd like to help, too," Sanders agreed.

"Alright, then! First things first." Leon stood up. "We decide on the cast, and to be fair, we'll draw lots."

They exchanged glances. A play like that, with weird roles, and they would _draw lots?!_

So, it was no surprise that the though on everyone's minds was, _"Uh-oh..."_

----------

A few minutes passed. Leon had finished writing the roles on little slips on paper and had mixed them up in a little bowl. Now it was time for the roles to be revealed…

"Okay, it's done." Leon motioned for everyone to gather around. "Ready...set..."

BANG!

Harry barged into the room, making a beeline straight for Leena. "LEENA MY LOVE!" he squealed.

"Oh, hi Harry!" Bit grinned as he observed Leena trying not to run and the dopey expression on Harry's face. "Welcome back!"

"Glad you could join us, Harry," Leon put in. Just then, Harry noticed that everyone was gathered around a little bowl on a table. Naturally, that got his curiosity bump itching. "What are you guys doing?" he asked as he sat down.

"We decided to put on a play for Dr. Toros," Mary explained. "Would you like a role, too?"

"Since Leena's joining, then I guess the answer's yes."

Leena cringed. Mary's eyebrows shot up. No one else noticed.

Jamie waved for attention. "Alright, then. Ready...set...GO!"

Everybody plunged a hand in the bowl and pulled out a piece of paper. Their reactions when they saw their parts were all quite…different…

"Hm," Bit thought over his role quietly. Leena did the opposite. Outraged, she bellowed, "WHAT?!"

"Uh..." Jamie blinked uncertainly, first at her, then at the slip of paper he held.

"Well!" Leon seemed satisfied enough with his role. Stoller was silent. Pierce let out an appreciative whistle. "Lookin' good!"

"Oh, how sweet!" Mary was all smiles as she took in her role.

"Not too bad..." Sanders was nodding.

"M-hm..." Naomi didn't seem particularly interested or disinterested in her part. She snuck a look at Brad, who simply said, "Oh..."

"NOOOOO!!!!!"

Everyone else looked at Harry in surprise. Wordlessly, Harry held up his slip of paper for all the world to see. Leon chuckled. "Sorry, Harry, no exceptions!" He ignored Harry's pleading gaze as he picked up a notepad and a pencil. "Okay, everyone, ROLE CALL!""

**The results (alphabetical order):**

**Bit-dead man / main character**

**Brad-angel guide / guy who was robbed by the main character**

**Harry-Satan**

**Jaime-God**

**Leena-demon guide**

**Leon-St. Peter**

**Mary-head angel**

**Naomi-nurse**

**Pierce-dead guy's / main character's wife**

**Sanders-narrator**

**Stoller-doctor**

**Crewmen-Benjamin & Sebastian **

And that was that. Most of the characters were pleased with their roles, except for Leena. (a/n: Heh-heh… XD)

'Till next time, people! Hope you're happy with this one!

To Be Continued...

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A/N: Hope you liked it!

Wonderin' how the Champ Team got out from under the Whale King? Easy! Remember in "Love On the Battlefield" when Benjamin dug underground? Bingo!

Champ fans, don't flame me, please. I only gave them roles that seemed to fit their personalities. Please understand...

I hope I didn't offend anybody with the roles I gave to the characters (y'know, Jaime playing God and all that). Like I said earlier, please understand and don't flame me...

YEEHA! XD


	5. The Play Starts

Disclaimer: a/n: I DON' WANNA WRITE IT!!!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

a/n: The play starts here! ^-^ Enjoy!

Chapt. 5: The Play Starts

Okay, we now continue from where we last left off...Man, I'm tired of sayin' this! Ah, heck, never mind...

Everybody has already rehearsed. They are now ready to set up the stage...

Sebastian: *painting a huge sheet of plywood* Ahhh...Isn't this relaxing, Harry?

Benjamin: *gives Harry a "look"* Oh, I'll bet it's relaxing.

Harry: *painting a blob that vaguely resembles Leena* Ahhh...Leenaaaa...

Elsewhere...

Bit: *cutting out a Liger Zero from a _huge_ sheet of cardboard while glancing at his script from time to time* Mmmm...surrender all your money...blah blah...it's me...blah blah...

*he suddenly realizes his scissors isn't cutting through anything*

Bit: Huh...? *sees that he has accidentally cut off one of the liger's legs*

Bit: O.O _Liger!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!_

Brad: T-~;; *looks up* Get a life, Bit.

Meanwhile, the rest of the guests are arriving...

*a black Whale King descends*

Layon: Ah, Toros! Good to see you again!

Toros: You seem to have recovered, Layon! But what about your, erhm, revenge...?

Layon: *casual wave* Revenge can wait. We'll call it a truce for a while, okay?

Toros: *extends his right hand* Okay. Let's shake on it.

*they shake hands and end up arm-wrestling instead* 

Oscar (Jaime's dad): *snicker, snicker, snort*

Finally, everything is in place. The stage has been set, the costumes have been made, and the actors and actresses are ready. The play starts...

Sanders: *enters stage and sits down cross-legged on one side (a/n: He's wearing his usual outfit)* Good evening, ummm...*notices that there are no women in the audience (which, by the way, consists of Layon, Toros, and Oscar) *...gentlemen. *takes out his script and clears his throat* Tonight, we would like to present a play to the, um, three of you. We decided to dedicate it to Dr. Toros. So, happy birthday, Doc. *clears his throat again* And now, we start...

*the curtain goes up and the stage is lit. Bit, hidden behind the liger cutout, emerges on stage (the cutout has wheels attached to its feet, and Bit has taped the leg on)*

Sanders: Once upon a time, on Planet Zi, there lived a man named Bit Cloud. 

Bit: *pops out from behind the cutout and waves* Hi!

Sanders: He lived with his wife named Pierce.

Pierce: *enters wearing an apron over her usual outfit and holding a rolling pin* BIT _CLOOOOOUUD!!!_

Sanders: Bit was a nice guy, but like most people, he had a flaw. And his flaw was...*pauses dramatically*..._STEALING!_

Toros: *in audience* *gasps!*

Sanders: But Bit was also very kind. He stole money from the rich and gave it to the poor.

*Bit goes back behind the cutout and rolls it toward Pierce. He emerges from behind it holding a sack filled with "money".*

Sanders: Too bad his wife didn't approve of it...

Pierce: HOW _DARE YOU GO BEHIND MY BACK TO **STEAL!!! *bonks Bit on the head with the rolling pin***_

Bit: Ow!

Sanders: *snickering slightly* For you see, Pierce _loved (a/n: Note his emphasis on the word "loved") Bit, and she didn't want to see him get hurt. *chuckles*_

Pierce: *soft, sweet voice* Bit, honey, you shouldn't steal. You might get caught someday, or worse.

*Sanders is laughing out loud by this time, as are some of the actors and actresses backstage*

Bit: *stands up and puffs out his chest* I'm sorry, Pierce, but the world needs me. *hangs his head* Goodbye...

*Pierce pretends to cry as Bit gets back behind the liger cutout and rolls it past her*

Sanders: *still laughing* And so *hee-hee* it was that Bit *snicker* Cloud decided to go off *giggle* and rob somebody else...*laughs some more*

*Pierce exits and the liger cutout emerges from the left wing. A Command Wolf AC cutout emerges from the opposite side with Brad behind it*

Brad: *muttering* This is so lame...Grrrrr...Of all the dumb ideas...

Leena: *behind right wing of stage* Shut up, Brad!

Brad: *rolls his eyes* 

Sanders: *has recovered* Bit also had another flaw. Oftentimes, whenever he robbed people...

Bit: *shouting through cardboard megaphone* Surrender all your money, and I'll let you go!

Brad: *also shouting through cardboard megaphone* Never! It's _my_ money, and I won't let you have it!

Jaime: *backstage* *snickers* Typical Brad.

*the two cutouts charge each other, and the liger cutout backs off as soon as it makes contact*

Sanders: *continuing*...he ended up killing them instead.

*Brad shoves his cutout so that it topples onto its side, exposing him to the audience*

Brad: AIEGH! *clutches his chest, falls down and "dies".* 

Bit: *pretends to be stupid and scratches his head* Ummm...oops...?

*the leg of the cutout (the one that Bit lopped off earlier) breaks off like a cookie crumb*

Toros: *elbows his buddies* Musta been some battle, eh, guys?

Layon and Oscar: ..........

Toros: *disappointed*

Sanders: When his wife heard of this, she refused to let him back into the house...

Bit: *rushes out from behind the liger cutout and pounds on a door painted on the background* Hey, open up, Pierce! It's me! Bit! *suddenly notices that the paint is still wet* Ewww...

Sanders: And so, Bit Cloud rode off into the sunset, never to be seen by his beloved wife again...

*an Elephander cutout, with Stoller hidden behind it, emerges onstage*

Sanders: *continuing*...until that fateful day...

Bit: Hey, you! Gimme all your money, and I'll let you pass!

Stoller: Afraid not...Now please let me go. *recognizes Bit* Hey, you're that bandit who's been robbing everybody! I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I'll have to take you in. 

Bit: Never! You can...*suddenly forgets his lines*...um...You can make me eat broccoli and cream cheese, but I'll never surrender! YAAAAAGH!

Actors, actresses, narrator and crewmen: . *sweatdrop*

Audience: ^____________________^;;

*the two cutouts charge each other, but this time, it is the Elephander that backs off. Bit shoves the liger cutout, (same thing as Brad)*

Bit: AAAAAGH! *(same thing as Brad)*

Sanders: Fortunately for Bit, the pilot of the Elephander was none other than...*pauses dramatically*..._DR. STOLLER!!!_

Toros: *in audience* *stands up and pumps his fist in the air* _YAAAY!_ Go, Captain Stoller!

Sanders: Ummm...that's _Doctor_ Stoller, Mister Toros. 

Toros: Oh. *suddenly realizes something* And that's _Doctor_ Toros to you, too, junior!

Sanders: My name is Sanders. Now please keep quiet and leave me alone.

*Stoller, wearing one of the doc's spare lab coats over his usual outfit, runs over to Bit and kneels beside him*

Stoller: Oh no! Are you alright?! Don't worry, I'm a doctor. I can help.

Sanders: And so, good doctor Stoller took Bit to the hospital.

*Benjamin and Sebastian slide the hospital background in place. Naomi enters*

Naomi: *wearing another one of the doc's lab coats over her usual outfit* Doctor, what happened?! Is he okay...?

Toros: *has a sudden flash of realization* Hey, those are _my clothes you're weaing!_

Stoller: *ignoring Toros* This man needs immediate medical attention. Call the orderlies.

*Benjamin and Sebastian enter with a gurney. They place Bit on top of it*

Bit: *weak, pathetic voice* Doctor...

Stoller: Hang in there, son.

Bit: Doctor...I'm sorry...Tell my wife I love her...*he then, um, "expires"*

Stoller: *pretends to check Bit's pulse and shakes his head* No...I'm afraid we've lost him...

To Be Continued...

////////////////////=O=\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

A/N: What's gonna come next?! Will Bit live...?!

_OF COURSE_ HE'LL LIVE!!! It's a play, and he's the 

_MAIN CHARACTER!_ Duh!

Do you write fanfics, too, Wolfpup? You ought to post

some of them on FF.net. I'm sure they're not so bad!

Just wonderin'...you said something about writing fanfics

in your review once...

By the way, I gave Sanders a huge part here because

his part in the show wasn't very important. In other

words, I feel sorry for him. I'm sure most of you feel the

same way about a few other characters...

By the way, has anyone noticed that I seem quite fond 

of the phrase "by the way"?

Not much to say here. Thanks to those who reviewed.

Review and I'll continue! ^-^;;


	6. Bit In Heaven

Disclaimer: a/n: I...own...nothing...AIIIIEEEEGH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! runs out the door screaming

a/n: I decided to break the story into acts. For example, Act 1 is in Chapter 5, Act 2 is Chapter 6, etc.

You guys sure can review! Like I said before, I can guarantee weirdness, but not hilarity. The former will be based on fact, the latter on opinion. Thank you very much.

* * *

Chapt. 6: Bit In Heaven

We now continue---Ah, for cryin' out loud! Let's just get on with this!

It is Dr. Toros' birthday, and the Blitz Team and their friends have already started the play...So, let's continue...Wait a minute, did I say that already...?

"NOOOOO!" Toros dropped to his knees with a scream. "My top warrior---VANQUISHED! IT CAN'T BE!"

Bit popped up like a zombie on the gurney. "I'm not dead, doc!" Nearly everyone else slapped their foreheads, groaned, ground their teeth, and wished they could bite Bit's head off. Sanders rolled his eyes. "A-_hem_..."

"Huh?" Bit and Toros traded glances. "Sorry...," Toros muttered as he sat down; Bit flopped back onto the gurney.

"Thank you." Sanders smiled and went on, "Even though Bit is dead, the show must go on! For life doesn't end with death, people! In fact, it's a new beginning..."

Stoller, Naomi, Benjamin and Sebastian wheeled the gurney, with Bit still on top of it, backstage. Bit dashed off to the other wing as soon as he is safely hidden from view and prepared to make his entrance.

"You see, first you have to be judged. You know, Heaven and Hell and all that. Bit decided to go to Heaven first."

The crewmen slid the background for Heaven in place. Bit entered from the right wing; Leon entered from the left. Leon was carrying a huge book (that said "dictionary" on the front) and wearing a white robe. He had on a silver foil halo over his head and angel wings made out of paper-mache. "Oh? Are you new here?" He smiled and shut his book. "Welcome to Heaven, son. I'm St. Peter. Who might you be?"

"Hi! I'm Bit Cloud! Am I dead?" Bit was grinning, and Leon arched an eyebrow. "Technically, yes. You're dead."

"Oh. Sooo...Can I come in?"

"Just a minute, sir." Leon flipped the book open and ran a finger down the page, muttering to himself. "Hm. Bit... What was it again? Bit Claude?"

"Cloud, sir. Bit _Cloud._"

"Yes, I—"

"Leon! Hey, Leon, remember to wash that bedsheet you're wearing and your underwear when you're done!" Toros yelled from the audience. Everyone else glowered at him and sweatdropped as Leon's face went from tan to crimson. "Um...yes...I see...," he murmured, shutting the book. Bit grinned. "Well...?"

"The Book of Life says that you must see our Master first."

"That's a dictionary, Leon...Oops...!"

The actresses growled. The actors sweatdropped. The audience went, "Huh?"

"Never mind!" Bit yelped, waving his hands madly. "So where do I see this master of yours?"

"Right this way, sir." Leon pointed to the right wing of the stage, and the crewmen wheeled in a metal frame with a shower curtain attached to it. Jamie was hiding behind it, biting his nails and shivering in his white robe. "Ohmanohamnohmanohmanohmanohman..."

Bit gawked at the shower curtain and quavered, "Are you sure he's not _naked!_"

Jamie choked on one of his fingernails.

" Ummm...no, sir. I assure you he is _not_ naked," Leon said, giving Bit a weird look. "I'll leave you now, sir."

"Yeah, bye!" Bit gave Leon a final wave before turning to tap the shower curtain lightly. "Hello, anybody home?"

A whispery voice came from behind the curtain: "En-teeeerrrr..."

The shower curtain rustled as Bit pulled it open and grinned. Jamie was sitting on a cushion, his legs crossed in a meditating position. "Hello. Are you the Master?"

"Ah...You must be Bit Cloud..." Jamie gestured around him in an airy sort of way. "...Welcome to Heaven, Bit Cloud...I...am...God..."

"Hello, God. Can you tell me where I should stay for all eternity?"

"That decision...is for you to make..."

Bit frowned. "How come?"

"You have...equal odds...for Heaven...and for Hell..."

"Why? What does that mean?"

"When you were alive...you used to rob from the rich...and give to the poor...Am I correct?"

"Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Since you were bad...and good at the same time...you can choose where to go...Both Heaven...and Hell...will suit you..."

"Hmmm...I'll have a look around here first."

"Alright..." Jamie waved his hand again. "Visit Head Angel Mary...She'll show you around..."

Mary entered wearing a cream-colored robe with gold trimming, paper-mache angel wings and a gold tinfoil halo. "_Must...resist...Bit's good looks... and charm...for the sake...of this show..." _she thought furiously, batting her eyelashes at Bit.

"HI!" Bit grinned again. "Are you the Head Angel, or the Big Toe?"

"Yes, I'm Head Angel Mary." Mary sighed as she looked up into Bit's earnest face. "What can I do for you?"

"Can you show me around Heaven?"

"Oh, _sure!_" Mary gushed, batting her eyelashes again. As she, Jamie, and Bit exited, Bit was starting to wonder if her eyelashes would fall off if she fluttered them hard enough...

Sanders raised his voice: " While Mary shows Bit around Heaven, let's take a break, shall we?"

To Be Continued...as usual...

* * *

A/N: Once again, our story ends at a cliffie.

Sorry, guys...

You're soooo lucky, Wolfpup! Over here,

school will start in 2 weeks! I can't believe yours

is just ending!

I think I know your age...You gave me a hint in

the review...Anyway, I look forward to seeing

your stories soon!

Thanks, liger! And ummm...Naomi and Nikita, too!

I'm really glad you like my stories! Heh-heh...

Oh, what would I do without you er... three!

I'm glad you liked the last chapter, Maelgwyn,

and I'm also glad I'm getting better at this!

I hope this has satisfid you!

Hmmm... there isn't much to say here, except

thanks to those who reviewed last time. I said it

once, and I'll say it again: Without you guys, my

stories are nothing more than a mere waste of time.

Many thanks indeed.

Please review and I'll continue. I mean, I haven't

let you down yet, have I? (I hope not!)


	7. DoubleAct Chappie

Disclaimer: a/n: Disclaimers are evil. Period. The end. Besides, you've read it more times than you can count. I'll bet a hundred that you know at least five of them by heart. ;)

Loki: NO! Don't make a bet! You'll end up losing! You-----

Cyber-form: (covers Loki's mouth) Forgive him. He's a bit disturbed.

Me: For those of you who don't know, these are my first—and only, so far---- muses, Loki and my cyber-form, who is CF for short.

CF: Hi, everyone!

Loki: (waves)

Me: OK, anyway, I own nothing except myself, CF, and Loki. On to the story!

a/n: This chappie will be comprised of two acts.

* * *

Chapt. 7: Angel Brad­­----Bit's New Friend

a/n: So the title is dumb. Sue me. I dare ya!

Loki: She doesn't mean it.

CF: For the sake of the readers, Loki, please behave.

* * *

As usual, we'll continue from where we last left off...Mary and Bit had gone backstage, and now Leena shoved a pair of paper-maché wings into Brad's arms. "Quick, Brad! That's your cue!"

"Yeah, yeah, I ain't deaf." Brad rolled his eyes as he slipped the wings on.

Sanders read, "Anyway, Bit and Mary took a look around Heaven, and when they were done, they went back to God."

Jamie entered, still behind the metal frame, from the right wing. Mary and Bit entered from the left.

"Well...?" Jamie looked up at Bit and Mary. "Have you...made up your mind...Bit Cloud...?"

"Heaven is a very nice place, God, but I'd like to see Hell before I make my decision."

Jamie nodded. "By all means...Mary...please find Bit a guide..."

Mary nodded and exited. Backstage, she found Brad wearing the angel wings and muttering crossly to himself. "This is so lame...," the merc growled.

"Come on, Brad! Let's go!"

"Grrrr...," was all Brad said.

"Oh Braaaaad..."

"Hm?" Brad turned around. Naomi was grinning at him. "Yeah, Naomi?"

"Break a leg!" Naomi winked.

"Huh? Yeah, thanks..." But as he followed Mary onstage, he couldn't help muttering, "...I think..."

Mary and Brad entered, and Bit's jaw dropped. "Y-y-you're that guy I killed!" he choked out, pointing at Brad. Brad simply folded his arms and drawled, "What's it to ya?"

Jamie held up both his hands. "Gentlemen...gentlemen...do not fight..."

"Sorry."

Brad coughed and turned to Jamie. "What did you want with me, sir?"

"Brad Hunter..." Jamie lifted a hand to indicate Bit. "Our friend...Bit Cloud...wishes to take...a tour...of Hell...Would you take...the liberty...of being...his guide...?"

"Why should I? It's _his_ fault I'm stuck here in the first place!"

Bit gave a start. "You mean you don't like Heaven?"

"Huh? Well..." Brad thought for a second and sighed. "Well, I guess it's not so bad..."

"Then...will you guide...this man...through Hell...?"

"...Alright."

"I wish you...luck...Mary...could you please...escort them...to the...exit...?"

"Okay." Mary motioned for Bit and Brad to follow her. "Come with me, guys."

"Farewell..."

And with that last word from Jamie, all four of them exited the stage.

"So, with the angel Brad as his guide, Bit Cloud went to see Hell." Sanders snapped his fingers. "Act 8!"

* * *

ACT 8:

The crewmen slide the background for Hell in place. Bit and Brad entered, with Brad in the lead. "Keep on your toes, kid," Brad murmured, his blue eyes flicking about. "Hell is a pretty unscrupulous place..."

"Huh?"

"...Never mind."

Backstage, Leena was wearing devil wings made out of stockings stretched over a wire frame, a pair of plastic horns, a rubber tail, and was holding a plastic trident. "Now I know how Brad feels...," she muttered, plucking at one of her wings. Jamie bustled over in his robe. "Are you kidding! That was so _embarrassing!_ My dad was _laughing_ at me!" he whispered in his normal voice.

"I've had worse times...," Leon told them dryly. Pierce overheard and smirked. "You mean the part about the underwear?"

"I'd rather not talk about it..."

Onstage...

Brad was pacing to and fro, hands in his pockets. "_Where the heck is everybody?_"

"I don't know..." Bit pointed to the left wing. "Why don't you ask _him?_"

At this, Harry (wearing and holding the same things as Leena) leaped out with a blood-curdling scream. He landed on his big toe, let out another scream, and fell flat on his face. "_Owchees!_" he squeaked, grabbing his big toe. Bit bent over him with a frown and whispered, "Harry, that wasn't in the script..."

Harry leaped up. "**_I KNOW THAT!_**"

Brad scrunched up his nose as he fanned the area in front of his face. "Woah, Harry, that's some breath ya got there."

Harry clamped his mouth shut.

Sanders coughed _very_ loudly.

Bit, Brad and Harry snapped back to attention. "Oh...erhm..." Bit's face split into a grin as he stuck out his right hand. "...Hi! I'm Bit Cloud, and this is my friend Brad Hunter!"

Brad scowled and folded his arms. "I am _not_ your friend."

Harry didn't seem to notice. "Welcome to Hell, Bit!" he said with an even more maniacal grin as he grabbed Bit's hand and pumped it up and down. "I...am..._SATAN!_" He trailed off into a laugh as thunder boomed and lightning flashed.

Brad yawned. Bit was unperturbed. "Hello, Satan!" he said, still grinning. "Can you show me around Hell?"

"Not much to see here, kid," Harry told him casually, indicating his surroundings. Bit's smile faded. "Oh. Alright...Where'd everybody go?"

"They're out tormenting the living."

"The...living...?"

"Hm?" Brad yawned again and shot Bit a sideways glance. "Ya homesick?"

"I guess..."

"Aww..." Harry draped his arm across Bit's shoulders and mocked him: "What's de madder, liddle Bittie-wittie? Do ye miss yew fwends?"

No response. Harry backed off, feeling a bit surprised. "Hm. I'll take that as a yes..."

"Yeah..." Brad carefully turned Bit around, pointing him towards the exit. "That'll be all for now, Satan. Thanks."

Harry waved and smiled as he turned around. "Goodbye! Come back soon!" All three of them exited. Sanders looked up. "Even though Bit hasn't made his decision yet, it's time to go back to Heaven, where his fate will be decided..."

To Be Continued...AUAA...

* * *

A/N: AUAA means "as usual, as always".

Well, there's the answer to your question, Wolfpup.

About your age...I'll cancel my final answer.

Thank you very much, edgy! And, yes, Zoids is anime.

Good luck and have fun writing!

Glad you liked the last chappie, n64! My muses and I

thank thee...

Loki & CF: (bow) Thank you!

Anyway, tune in to the next (and last) chapter, where Bit decides

where to stay for all eternity! Later,dudes! ;

Loki: For those of you who don't understand, she says goodbye.

CF: Everybody knows what she's sayin', Loki.

Loki: Oops...


	8. The Third Choice

Disclaimer: a/n: I'm in a good mood today, so here it is: I don't own anybody except for myself, CF, and Loki.

a/n: Formerly, my muses and I were here. But I decided to edit things and change the chappie, so we are completely cut out. XD

* * *

Chapt. 8: The Third Choice

Sanders held up his script and began, "Now that he is back in Heaven, Bit must announce his final decision."

The crewmen slid the background for Heaven in place, along with some metal chairs. Bit, Brad, and Jamie (still behind the metal frame) entered.

"Hey, God, where are you...?"

"I am...right in front of you...Brad..."

Brad stooped and jerked open the shower curtain. "Hey, God, we're back. Now what do I with him?" he inquired, jerking his thumb over at Bit. Bit, on the other hand, was dragging his feet as he walked and looked very sad for some unknown reason. One of Jamie's eyebrows shot up. "Bit...?"

"Yeah...?"

Jamie raised his voice. "Have you made...your...decision...?"

Bit didn't reply. Brad leaned down and whispered to Jamie, "I think he's homesick..."

"I see..." Jamie cleared his throat and beckoned to Bit. "...Come here...Bit..."

Bit dragged himself over to Jamie and Brad. Jamie indicated for him to bend down. "Do you want...to go home...Bit...?" he asked gently. At this, Bit perked up like a sunflower. "Yeah! Can you show me how?"

Jamie smiled, holding up one hand. "Not so fast...First...we must hold...a meeting... Brad...please call...Satan..."

"But..." Brad paused, noticed how miserable Bit looked, and sighed. "...Ooh, alright..."

"So Brad went down to the underworld to get Satan. They returned to Heaven within a few minutes time."

Brad returned with Harry and Leena behind him. Harry was muttering softly to himself. "I _hate_ this place...No, scratch that. A_ha!_ I've got it!" He threw his head back and pumped his fist into the air. "I _DESPISE_ THIS PLACE!" Thunder rumbled softly in the distance. Jamie merely arched an eyebrow. "Are you done...Satan...?"

"I guess." Harry smiled and sat down as if nothing had happened. "So what did you want me here for?"

Jamie sat down in another chair and pointed to Bit. Bit didn't even notice; he was too busy staring dejectedly off into space. Harry's eyes narrowed. "Aaaaaah...I see..."

"Bit...come here..."

Bit came over to sit beside Jamie, and Jamie told him, "Before...we can...allow you...to return to the...real world...you must see it...for what...it really...is...After that...you...can make...your decision..."

"You mean I can see my Piercie again...?"

(Pierce gagged backstage and rolled her eyes.)

"Yes..."

Bit gasped, and his face lit up like a lantern. He jumped up and started prancing around. "YES! THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH!" He grabbed Jamie's hand and shook it so hard he fell off his chair, and he actually kissed Harry. Jamie squawked as he hit the floor. "OW! Not so hard, Bit!"

Harry actually squealed and shoved Bit away. "EW! You _kissed_ me! My royal lips...defied by the kiss of a commoner!"

"Huh...?" Bit's face turned green, and he shot a V-sign at everyone and clapped his hand over his mouth before sprinting off to the bathroom. Sanders let out an exasperated sigh. "Gentlemen, it appears our lead actor is experiencing some..." He paused; he could hear puking noises backstage. "...Erhm...technical difficulties. We apologize for the inconvenience."

A few minutes passed. Jamie, Harry, and Brad straigtened up the chairs and sat down again to wait. Now, normally during times like these, they have musical intervals. But no, they had to put up with Bit's little presentation instead. Toros snickered. "The Puke-tacular Orchestra, Maestro'ed by Bit Cloud," he muttered with a grin.

Minutes passed. Then Bit entered, still a bit greenish from puking (and re-puking after seeing his puke up close and personal). The audience cheered, and the actors sighed with relief. Sanders smiled wryly. "Okay, so let's continue..."

Harry was still a bit freaked out. He stood up and pointed at Bit. "Erhm...Okay, Bit. For a guide," he said, making a face, "I give to you my best angel..." The look on his face melted into a dreamy expression as he sighed, "Leeeeee-_naaaaaaaaah_..."

Leena rolled her eyes and hissed, "Knock it off, Harry. And I'm not supposed to be an angel. Brad is."

"Sorry. My best demon, then."

Jamie pointed to Bit as well. "For a guide...I give to you...the angel Brad..."

"Guess I'm still stuck with you," Brad muttered good-naturedly as he went to stand beside Bit. Leena stood on Bit's other side. Jamie held up both his hands. "Now...prepare to enter...the...real world...!"

The curtains dropped.

"The show isn't over yet, gentlemen!" Sanders assured the audience, as behind the curtain Benjamin and Sebastian zoomed around, setting up the scene. Sanders waited for a few more minutes, then he checked his watch. "Okay...The show should start in ten – nine – eight – seven – six – five – four – three – two - one----

The curtains soared open, revealing a hospital scene. Sanders muttered, "About time."

Bit, Brad, and Leena entered. Bit took one look around him and let out a whoop. "YAY! I'm alive!"

Then he noticed he was back in the hospital. Stoller, Pierce, and Naomi stood off to one side, talking softly. Bit's jaw dropped. "It's my wife! Hey, Pierce, it's me! BIT!"

Pierce pretended not to see Bit; she sobbed into Naomi's shoulder as the nurse patted her hair. "He was such a kind-hearted man!" she sobbed. "He would risk his life just to help others...Oh, my poor Bit!"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Cloud. He was a good man," Naomi said quietly. Stoller nodded as he wiped his eyes with a handkerchief. "He's probably in Heaven now...," he assured Pierce. "Right before he died, he said he was sorry...and that he loved you, Mrs. Cloud."

"Oh, Bit...I'm sorry...," Pierce whispered. "I love you..."

"Pierce..." Bit couldn't bear to watch any more. He turned away as Brad and Leena exchanged looks. Bit whirled to face them. "What's going on...?" he asked in a whisper. "Why can't they see me?"

Brad shrugged. "Can your wife see ghosts, Bit?"

"No..."

"Then that explains why she can't see you," Leena chimed in. Bit looked as if he wanted to say more, but Brad grabbed him by the shoulders and hustled him out the doorway. "We're spending too much time here! We gotta go!"

Just before they exited, Bit turned around to get a last look at his beloved wife. "Goodbye, Pierce...my love..."

TBC...AUAA...

* * *

A/N: Hello, guys! Thanks for all your reviews!

As a special treat for you, my muses and I will

reply to them!

**To Maelgwyn:**

Me: Wow! Mael an' CW're fightin'!

CATFIGHT!

Loki: (puts on shades and MIB suit) Wanna bet?

CF: An accident? Heh-heh..sure...What would I do

without my punching bag...

Loki: Mommy...

Me: May the best man win, Mael, CW. Good luck!

**To Wolfpup:**

Me: COOKIE! (opens mouth to full extent)

Loki: IT'S MINE! (tackles me)

CF: Don't mind them.PD says thank you,

and Loki hasn't eaten breakfast yet. I'm not hungry,

but thanks, anyway! (rubs chin thoughtfully) Mad dash...

Maybe I can settle the argument with that game...


	9. Bit In the Real World

Disclaimer: a/n: Noooooo... (faints)

Loki: (dumbfounded) You killed her.

CF: Sorry, but the author is currently out cold. Anyway...Mel owns nothing and no one except for the idea for this story.

* * *

Chapt. 9: Bit In the Real World

"Pierce..."

Brad noticed Bit getting all teary-eyed. "Now, now, don't cry, Bit!"

"BIT!" Leena grabbed Bit by the shoulders and shook him. "SNAP OUTTA IT!"

"Wha-HUH?"

Leena sighed in exasperation and folded her arms. "Listen, Bit! We're not here to cry over your wife. We're here because you want to go back to the real world."

"I wanna go back now..."

Brad shrugged. "The real world ain't what it used to be, chum," he muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets. "After all, you're a dead guy now, and the living ain't so kind to the dead these days..."

Leena grabbed Bit and spun him round to face the exit. "We're wasting our time! Let's go!" And before Bit could protest, the three of them found themselves on top of a very tall building...

Bit noticed.

"ACK!" He let out a yelp and fell backwards onto his butt. "Oh...Oh, man...!"

Brad smirked at him. "No need to worry. Now that you're dead, nothing can hurt you."

"Oh?" Bit thought it over...es, it was true...And the view wasn't so bad, after all. He crawled to the edge and peered out over the city. "Wooooooow..."

Leena hovered nearby, and an idea popped into her mind... "Why don't you try and fly, Bit? It'll be fun! I promise!" she twittered innocently.

Brad choked.

And Bit jumped. "Ya-hooooooooooooooooooooo!"

Brad managed to get a hold of himself, and he catapulted over the edge. "BIT!"

Leena watched them go plummeting down to earth. She grinned and giggled. "Whoopsie!"

Bit, meanwhile, had tried flapping his arms. Naturally, nothing happened, save for the fact that the pavement below him was growing closer every second... "Wha...?" He gulped as he realized the awful truth—Leena had tricked him. "HELP! SOMEBODY HELMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Brad soared up, out, and swooped beneath Bit, just in time to catch him. "OOF! Gosh..." He gasped as he landed. "...You're heavy!"

Bit nodded numbly. "G-g-g-gosh...Th-th-thanks B-B-Brad!"

A shadow fell over them. Leena had arrived, and now she hovered nearby, well out of Brad's reach. "Hee-hee-hee!"

"Grrr...THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Brad tried to lurch forward, but he couldn't do anything, since he was still carrying Bit. Leena rolled over in mid-air, laughing helplessly. Bit cleared his throat. "B-B-Brad...? I-I'd l-l-like t-to g-go d-d-down n-now, p-p-please...?"

"Huh? Yeah, sure." Brad dumped Bit unceremoniously onto the ground. Bit didn't care. He was still too freaked out. "O-oh, m-m-m-m-man...," he whispered as he staggered over to a wastebasket to puke. Brad whirled round to face Leena. "WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU TRYIN' TO DO BACK THERE?"

Leena met his scream with an innocent smile. "It's not my fault your charge is so gullible!"

Brad knew she had a point. He settled for grating his teeth as he stomped off, fists clenched. "Grngrngrn..."

Bit looked up as he passed and grinned. "That was fun! Can we do it again?"

Brad snapped.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"

Bit watched him run off, looking utterly helpless. "Was it something I said...?"

"Maybe...Hey..." Leena alighted upon the ground and placed a hand upon Bit's shoulder. "While we wait for Brad, let's have a look around, shall we?"

They left the stage. Brad reentered a moment later, still fuming. "Man, that nut was a total idiot..," he grumbled as he looked around. "...Wha...?"

Too late. Bit and Leena had left. Brad groaned and slapped his forehead as he re-exited. "...I shouldn't have left them behind..."

As soon as the stage was empty, Benjamin and Sebastian slid the background for the hospital in place once more. Bit and Leena reentered. "Hey...we're back in the hospital again!" Bit noted. "But what about Brad...?"

Leena was all smiles. "Brad, Shmad! Who cares? Come on, Bit! I want to check a few things out..."

Stoller, Pierce and Naomi entered...

"Hey, Leena..."

Leena shrugged, pretending not to notice. "Feel free to look around, Bit!"

As Bit walked off toward his wife, Leena smirked, snickered, and departed...Everyone else exited as well. The background for Heaven was slid into place, and Jamie and Harry entered, Jamie with a mirror.

"Hmmm...It appears...our friend...is not doing...so well...," Jamie observed quietly, showing the mirror to Harry. Harry leaned back in his chair and smiled. "That scryin' mirror of yours is a handy tool. Lemme have a look."

Jamie handed the mirror over. Harry grinned. "Heh-heh...Leena is doing a fine job..."

Jaime nodded sadly. "There...is nothing...I can do...If he remains...in earth...for more...than a day...he will be denied...access...to Heaven...and Hell...until the end...of time..."

TBC...AUAA...

* * *

A/N: Another treat for all of you:

To Wolfpup:

Loki: What does the word "Kawaii"

mean...?

CF: (whispering) He doesn't know

anything, Wolf. Y'see, he's from a

medieval era.

Me: Good luck in your summer school!

Hopefully, the same thing won't happen

again next summer...

All 3: We hope to hear from you soon!

To Maelgwyn & CW:

Me: Please be nice, CW...

Loki: Yeah, authors ain't so bad!

CF: That goes for you, too, Maelgwyn!

All 3: (wink)

To nintendestined64:

CF: A movie, hm?

Me: This play wasn't based on a movie,

but it does sound awf'ly similar to "All

Dogs Go To Heaven" & "Bruce Almighty",

right?

Loki: The popcorn...was alive...? O.O

(faints)

CF&Me: Good luck job hunting!

Loki: (holds up sign that says "Same here.")


	10. Happy Birthday, Dr Toros!

Disclaimer: a/n: I own nothing! Nothing at all, save for the idea! Spare me, oh evil copyright officers!

a/n: Me: Sorry, guys...but this...was the last sob chapter...Yeah, it was really fun...writing for all of you...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Loki: Poor kid...

CF: I wouldn't say that...She usually has something up her sleeve...

* * *

Chapt. 10: Happy Birthday, Dr. Toros! 

The background for downtown had been slid into place. Now Sanders cleared his throat.

"When we last saw them, Leena had tricked Bit so that he would be stuck on earth until the end of time. Now it was up to Brad to rescue him! In order to save Bit, Brad had to find him first. Unfortunately, Brad wasn't having much luck...," Sanders read from the script. True enough...

"Bit! Leena! Where are you?" Brad stopped and paused, thinking hard. "Okay...drat, I can't remember where I left them! Where could they be?"

"Hi, Brad! How's it goin'?"

Brad turned around. When he saw who it was, he practically pounced on her. "Leena! Where's Bit!"

"How should I know?"

Insert smoke coming out of Brad's ears and train whistles here. "Don't play dumb with me!" Brad howled, waving his hands. "What'd ya do to him!"

"Okay, okay..." Leena shrugged as she backed off. "Geeze..."

"You'll tell me where he is, then?"

"No. Ta-ta!" Leena laughed in Brad's face. An instant later, there was a soft pop, and smoke filled the stage as Leena made her exit. Brad's roars trailed off into coughs as he swiped angrily at the smoke. But when the smoke cleared, he was alone.

...Not to mention very mad.

"LEENA, YOU-YOU...**AAAAAUUURGH!**"

Brad stormed off, still growling. The BG for Heaven was slid into place.

"Having succeeded in thwarting Brad's plan to find Bit, Leena returned to Heaven to report to her master..."

Harry was laughing as he waved the mirror around. "Hahaha! Didja see 'im? Didja see the look on his face!"

"Heh-heh..." Leena bowed and saluted. "Mission accomplished"—she made a disguted face—"milord!"

"Good work...Leeeee-naaaaa..."

"KNOCK IT OFF!"

Jamie was frowning as he picked up the mirror. "Hmmm...Perhaps...there is...a way...to get Bit...oriented..."

"Hey, that's cheating!"

One of Jamie's eyebrows shot up. "Oh? Is it?"

"Well...I...um..."

Jamie smiled and wagged a finger at Harry. "You know...fairly well...that we...can give...mortals advice...whenever...we want..."

As Harry pouted, Jamie spoke into the mirror. "Bit...Bit..."

And as he spoke, Bit heard his words...

Bit was currently offstage, but he spoke into a microphone. "God...? Is that you?" he asked, his voice rumbling through the stage.

"Bit...Where...are...you...?"

"In the hospital. Why?"

"What...are you...doing there...?"

"I don't know..." He sounded genuinely puzzled. "Leena was the one who brought me here..."

"Where...is...Brad...?"

"I don't know...Where's Leena? I want to get out of here, but I'm worried about them. They might get lost."

Leena's eyes widened. "He...really...cares...?"

Harry shrugged and made a face. "Bit's a good man, dearie."

"Bit...listen...You have...to find...Brad...quickly...Where did...you...last...see him...?"

"Hmm...Somewhere near downtown, I guess..."

"Then go...before it's...too...late..."

"So Bit left the hospital to find Brad."

Jamie, Harry, and Leena exited; the crewmen slid the BG for downtown in place. Bit entered, looking around and calling for Brad. "Brad! Brad! Hey...Where are you, Brad!"

Leena entered. "Bit, I'm sorry for everything!" she cried. "Please forgive me for trying to kill you!"

"I don't need to forgive you, Leena! You can't kill me because I'm already dead!"

"Oh. Well...I'm still sorry!"

"For what?"

"It'll take a while to explain, but first we have to find Brad!" Leena grabbed Bit and grabbed him along to the other end of the stage...just as Brad entered.

WHAP!

"OW!"

"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOIN'!" Brad yelled back at Leena. Bit simply helped both of them up. "Are you guys alright?"

They were silent. Then Brad cleared his throat. "Bit, sorry, but we have to go now."

"Awww..." Bit sighed and nodded. "Alright."

With their period of time on earth used up, Bit, Brad, and Leena returned to Heaven, God (Jamie) was there to welcome them, with Satan (Harry) behind him. "Ah...Bit...and Brad...it's good to see...that you...are both...alright..."

Harry nodded in agreement. "I must say, that was quite interesting."

"Leena...You tried...to warn Bit...about what...might happen...if he stayed on earth...too long..."

"Yeah!" Harry nodded again. "He has a point. Why'd you do it?"

"Errrrrmmm..." Leena shrugged as she wrung her hands. "Because...because..."

"Yeeeees...?"

"Because...I...I was sorry for being so mean to him...He's such a good guy!"

Bit smiled, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Aww..."

"Hmm..." Jamie motioned for Harry to come closer, and he whispered in his ear for a few seconds. Harry shrugged. "M-hm...Alright, then...If that's what she wishes...," he said sadly. Jamie nodded his approval and turned to Leena. Leena...Your deed...of goodness...has given us...a bit of a problem...a problem...which you need...to solve..."

"What did I do?"

Jamie smiled. "Something good...enough...to make you...qualify as an...angel..."

"You mean I can be an angel?" She looked happy, but then she remembered her employer. "But what about...?"

Harry shrugged as he held up a hand for silence. "You can't mess with free will. 1"

Leena nodded uncertainly. And then a smile lit up her face as she nodded. "OK..."

"Now...Bit...Where would you...like...to stay...?"

"I still miss my wife..."

Jamie's face changed. Suddenly he looked...sterner somehow, and he raised both his hands. "So be it...!" he thundered. "Wish...granted...!"

Light shone down on Bit from above. Bit yelped as he shielded his eyes. Through the glare, he could see Brad waving, Leena's smile, Harry's wry wink, and Jamie's normal benevolent expression.

"Bye, Bit! You idiotic nut, you!" Brad yelled. "I'm gonna miss you, chum!"

"Bye, Bit! Thanks for everything!"

"So long, Cloud!" Harry was laughing. "Good luck!"

And Jamie...

"We'll be around...Bit Cloud...whenever...you need...us..."

With that last promise, the light shone to its full extent. The people in the audience yelped and covered their eyes. Toros woke up. "Wha...? Is it morning already...?"

The light faded, and now Bit was lying on the gurney in the hospital.

"Huh?" He propped himself up on one elbow and shook himself as he looked around. "Where am I...?"

Stoller entered with his clipboard. "Ah, you're awake, Mr. Cloud! You gave us quite a fright there! In fact, you almost died!"

"Brad...and Leena...Have you seen them...?"

Stoller frowned as he peered at Bit over his false spectacles. "Brad and Leena? Why, no...Who are they? Friends of yours?"

"I guess..."

Stoller checked his watch and smiled. "Well, I'll leave you now, Mr. Cloud. I'll check on you again later," he promised as he exited. It was then that Bit noticed a few things lying atop the table beside his gurney: a necklace and a feather "What...?" He picked up the necklace first.

"...I've seen this necklace before...the one with the feather and red pendant...It belongs to...Brad...!"

Now he set the necklace down and turned his attention to the feather. It was pure white, with glittering golden edges. "And this feather...I've never seen it before...It doesn't belong to any of the angels...Unless..." He put it down. A smile spread across his face.

"...Leena got her wish after all..."

"Bit recovered soon enough, and went on living with his wife and helping the poor through charity and donations. As for God, Satan, Brad, and Leena, he never did see them again in the real world, but he kept their gifts in memory of them. And here our play comes to an end, my friends." Sanders stood up and bowed. "Thank you for watching."

The audience stood up to cheer and applaud, and as the lights came on, the cast came onstage to congratulate each other. Brad was grinning as he pulled off his wings and tossed them aside. "Hey, idiotic nut! I'd like my necklace back!"

"Sure!" Bit scrambled off the gurney and tossed the necklace back to Brad, but Naomi plucked it out of the air. "Wow, this is a cute necklace! I think I'll keep it..."

"Hey! Give it back!"

Leena pranced around with her trident, looking for someone to poke. She noticed Jamie. "Heh-heh-heh...Behold my Spork of Power!" she yelled, giving Jamie a poke in the ribs. Jamie jumped up. "Leena...You're...not su—" He paused and ran off, yelling in his normal voice, "I mean, Leena! Stop!"

"Run away, Jaime! Don't let her catch you!"

"Leena! Come to me!"

"She's not the girl for you, Harry!" Mary reached out and grabbed Harry by the ear.

"Aww...OW! _But Mary...!_"

"'But Mary' nothing! You're a Champ, Harry; you deserve better!"

"Heh-heh..." Pierce tossed her apron away and pretended not to notice as it landed on Mary's head. "It's good doctor Stoller!"

"Oh, hi, Pierce...Hey, Bit!" Stoller whistled and waved. "How 'bout a match sometime?"

"Well..."

"AGH!" Jamie squawked as he ran past. "Leave me alone—ACK!" He tripped over his robe and crashed against the BG. The background wobbled dangerously...

Leon swallowed hard. "Uh-oh..."

"Everybody RUN!"

With a final creaking groan, the background came loose and came crashing down...Pierce gasped and raised her arms to shield herself...And Sanders came running and pushed her out of the way.

"NOOOOOOOO!"

The background crashed down on Sanders...and bonked him on the head. Sanders blinked. "...Ouch."

"Leena!" Toros came puffing and panting up the stage. "Are you alright!"

"Just fine, Daddy! Thanks."

"Jamie!"

"I'm alright, Pop!"

"Everyone seems to be okay..."

Bit noticed something and pointed. "Hey! It's the Doc!"

Toros gave him a weird look. "Yes, it's me. What's your point?"

Everybody else traded glances. Leon cleared his throat. "One, two, three!"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DR. TOROS!"

"Happy birthday, Daddy!" Leena gushed, throwing her arms around the Doc's waist. Leon laughed as he hugged them both. "Yeah, Dad!"

"You mean it's my birthday...?"

Everybody glowered at him. "**YES!**"

"Oh...Okay." Toros hugged his children back and announced, "Hey, tell you what, let's all go to the beach!"

Everybody cheered.

But...About Sanders...

It's not often everyone goes out of his way to save a girl from a falling piece of plywood, right?

It could only be...

...Naaaaaaaaaaahhh...

THE END...right...?

1-One of the quotes from "Bruce Almighty". Don't own that either.

* * *

A/N: Replies... 

To IceDragon:

Loki: Mmm...Pepper... (slurp)

Thank you so much, Ice!

CF: Wow! Candy! YAY!

Me: (gasp!) Bubblegum is my favorite

candy second to chocolate! How did you

know...?

All 3: Thanks for everything! Have fun writing!

To Maelgwyn:

Loki: (gasp!) More pepper! (hugs jar)

The world loves me!

CF: YES! Now I have my own Spork of Power!

Me: Chocolate! No. 1 fave candy! My fave candy

collection is almost complete! WA-HOO!

All 3: Yay! More gifts! Thanks!

To nintendestined64:

Me: I've heard the rumors, but I never

imagined it would be true! My bro's gonna be

so happy!

CF: Leena is evil, alright! Just like me!

Loki: Yeah! More zoids! XD

All 3: Thanks a lot for the great news!

To Wolfpup:

Me: Heh-heh-heh...Authoresses are SUPPOSED

to be evil! Mwahahahaha!

CF: If Rat-boy hits on you, I suggest you hit back

on him---LITERALLY!

Loki: And, yes, you spelled "voluntarily" right.

You seem better than the other students...at least

your parents didn't have to force you to go!

All 3: Good luck in summer school! And don't let

Rat-boy get to you!


End file.
